While online dating used to be a shameful secret for many people, using dating apps nowadays is the norm, especially amongst millennials. From Bumble and Tinder to Happn and Hinge, there are endless apps out there, providing singletons with a never-ending stream of possible suitors through which to swipe, match and crush. But the trouble is, as fun as swiping is, after a while it starts to feel more like a game than a way to meet a potential soulmate. Like online shopping, if you will. We all double-screen these days, and for many a millennial, as soon as you plonk yourself down on the sofa and turn on the TV, out comes the phone and the swiping begins, almost without thinking. But is this doing us any good?
The search for love in the digital age tends to stir up a lot of anxiety. As evidenced by the countless dystopian portrayals of technologically mediated love that come across our screens as well as real-world conversations with friends and colleagues, we’re collectively wary of online dating and its implications for the future of romance and human connection. Meanwhile, IRL origin stories are seen as sacred. Why are we so hesitant to believe that online dating can work?
Maybe it’s the stigma.
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Technology has successfully brought together countless of connections. However, dating apps are corporations. The technology created is meant to maximise revenues, profits, app usage and keep you online as long as possible.
It’s possible to find true and lasting love in the age of online dating, Though the movies might paint love as a magical thing that happens as if.
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Tinder killed it and Hinge is dancing on its grave. If you see someone you like the look of in a bar or on an overcrowded Tube carriage, the absolute last thing you do is strike up a conversation. Hardly a kiss under the clock at Waterloo station. In theory, online dating sounds so glorious. Last year, I was dumped — not once but twice — by a man I met on Hinge who I had silly me become terribly keen on.
Maybe I should write and thank him.
Getting acquainted happens over time, but establishing a foundation means putting a better foot forward—this may turn the tides of casual dating to something.
Unfortunately, the fact of the matter in this day and age is that love rarely comes knocking at your door. It is ironic that from an early age we are encouraged that everything worth having can be achieved through hard work. In most areas of your life you realise that if you want to get what you are looking for you must take steps to achieve it. We all put a lot of work into achieving our dreams in our careers and other areas of our life, yet when it comes to love, we believe it will just fall in our laps!
Seriously, the odds are not in your favour! Neurologists have identified the chemical changes that occur in the brain when people fall in love. Basically the part of the brain used for judgement frontal cortex shuts down! MRI scans show this only happens when someone is shown a photo of the person they love, shutting down all criticism or doubt. When you look at the person you are into to, the part of your brain related to judgement literally shuts down. Research has found that love really is a drug.
Studies have shown that dopamine is at higher levels in those in love.
Kahshanna Evans. Love may feel effortless, but sacred steps of becoming better acquainted can be the bridge to something greater. Elected romantic interests should share the same intentions once they establish a commitment to one another. Allowing something special to unfold happens by giving it the attention it deserves. In every shadow there is a story about each partner. To be open to the possibilities of love, its important we are honest with ourselves.
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At some point we all want to find love, someone to share our life experiences. Can we even remember life before the internet? In many instances it seemed like economic sense to try out this kind of free matchmaking. Did you like it? How did it make you feel? Were you disappointed or disillusioned? Lots of people pretending to be someone they are not even became a much watched MTV show Catfish.
Psychology Today wrote an interesting piece about this and the main problems associated with online dating here.
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Online dating has been around basically since the internet was invented, but I highly doubt your true love happens to be a block away, unless you believe in.
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